My experience - 2018 Have Less, BE More Challenge
I’m done.
I set a deadline of Sep 15 for myself because I wanted to post while you still had runway before your deadline.
WHY DID I DO IT?
I wrote about this extensively in my call to action for the challenge.
Basically, I had hoped that decluttering my surroundings would declutter my life and my mind. A decluttered mind, I hoped, would make it easier to focus, easier to fall asleep, and easier to be present and content.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE NOW THAT IT'S DONE?
Awesome. My closet and drawers feel fresh and curated. My kitchen feels more usable. My bookshelf brings me more happiness. My workspace brings peace. It is much easier to concentrate on getting work done. I’ve also been falling asleep more easily, but that has been helped (possibly mostly) by other changes I’ve made. All of these changes have resulted in a change to my life.
Look - I’m not saying life is now I’m-always-high-on-drugs-it’s-so-good, but it’s certainly made a material improvement to my life.
I wonder if some of what is holding me back is that some parts of my place weren’t subjected to decluttering. The basement still has my wife's stuff, extra baby stuff, and yet-to-be-drank alcohol, none of which I felt it was appropriate to get rid of right now. This extra stuff feels like a bit of an anchor holding back the celebration.
Although, when I put it another way - it’s all great except for the parts I didn’t declutter, it starts to seem like a compelling reason to declutter.
WHAT do I want to Highlight?
The Spark Joy Test
Although "sparking joy" seemed too imprecise for me, enough friends recommended it that I decided to try it. The first item was a tshirt that I liked. I started to think about where I had worn it, where I would wear it, what other clothes it went with. I liked it. I put it into one pile. I picked up the second tshirt. I also liked it. Comfy, good fit - but showing some wear and tear. I put it into a different pile. I picked up a third tshirt. "This shirt is awesome. I love it." Straight into a third pile. THAT is the "speaking to your heart" test.
Once you experience an item that speaks to your heart, it becomes pretty clear when things don't speak to your heart.
It Can Be An Emotional Rollercoaster
There were three (surprising) emotions that I noticed as I was going through this process:
GUILT. I felt guilty. Sometimes because I felt wasteful. Sometimes because it was a gift and I felt as if I was insulting the gift-giver. There was nothing to do here except acknowledge the guilt and then put it aside. I thought of something Megan has often told me: "They meant to give you a gift, not an obligation."
RESENTMENT. I deeply care about the environment and the world we leave for the next generation. To that end, being wasteful really bothers me and I felt very guilty when doing it. I found, as I got rid of gifts I had never used, that I was feeling resentful. They were all well-intentioned gifts, but somehow their generosity ended up with guilt instead of joy. My learning is that I shouldn’t keep things I know I won’t use. I should find a home for them quickly so they don’t overstay their welcome.
WORRY. Most of the time when I hesitated to discard something, I was thinking "what if I need this in the future." This is not a new thing for me. Hell, I just got rid of two lunch size igloo coolers that I won 25 years ago in elementary school that I literally never used. But they seemed like such a great idea, so I've carted them with me over the years. Ridiculous.
What Should You Keep In Mind?
I’m hoping you’re working on your own Have Less, Be More challenge. If you are, here are some (pro) tips:
Do it all at once. Dragging all of my stuff into a different space made it was easier to stay focused, get it done, and do it properly.
Focus on what to keep, not what to discard. Ask yourself, if I had to move overseas, is this something I would pay money to ship?
Accept whatever emotions you’re feeling. And then continue to declutter anyway.
It feels awesome when it’s done. Keep that goal in mind - it’ll help motivate you and keep you in the game when you’re tempted to bow out.
So have you done it? Are you doing it? PLEASE let me know (there’s comments below or on FB or IG). I love hearing stories of people improving their lives by removing possessions.
I think Kondo is right when she says: “The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.” You may achieve surprising clarity through this process.