2018 Have Less, BE More Challenge
I'm going to do an optimized living space challenge I call the Have Less, Be More Challenge.
To summarize (full detail below), I will go through my possessions (one category at a time) and only keep those things that either bring me joy or that I need. After I get rid of everything that doesn't meet the test, I'll organize and put everything away.
Altough I'm not looking for pledges or well-wishes, I would like you to join me. Here is what the challenge will look like:
Before you start, you need to create a vision of what your life will look like once you're done.
When choosing what to discard, go through your stuff in this order: clothes, books, papers, misc., then mementos. If anything doesn't spark joy or you don't need it, you'll discard it. Tackle each category all at once. If any category is too big, tackle it in subcategories (e.g. all tshirts, then sweaters, then shirts, then pants, etc.).
After you've done all discarding, then you put things away. Two rules: store all items of the same type in the same place and don't scatter storage space. Everything should have a home.
That's it. If you make it through clothes and at least one other major category by September 30, you've succeeded.
THE CHALLENGE
THE WHY
I have been accumulating things for some time. I have things in my closet that I don't wear (and some that I don't even like). I have also noticed how much calmer my mind is when my surroundings are tidy. Oddly enough, I've done purges before, but I've only purged those things which I clearly did not have a use for. This "Have Less, Be More" challenge will have a higher bar - I'm only supposed to keep things that bring me joy, or that I actually need (not might need).
I've noticed that my mind is cluttered in a cluttered space, and clearer in a tidy space. What would my mind be like if my entire home was tidy?
I believe that by purging and tidying my space, leaving only the things that either bring me joy or that I need, that I will improve my outlook, my disposition and my experience of this life. For me, this is about being more mindful in life - not just about what I choose to have, but also what I choose to spend my time on, to think about, and to buy in the future. This is about removing the clutter so I can leave space for what matters.
I might also have more time. In her book The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin cites a study that "suggested that eliminating clutter would cut down the amount of housework in the average home by 40 percent."
Rubin was motivated to clean her own mess because "household disorder was a constant drain on [her] energy." She discusses in detail the process she went through to clear the clutter from her place and describes how she felt "uplifted and restored" at the end. Interestingly, she also "noticed a paradox: although [she] had far fewer clothes in front of [her], [she] felt as though [she] had more to wear - because everything in [her] closet was something that she realistically would wear."
Marie Kondo (in her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up) says, "At their core, the things we really like do not change over time. Putting your house in order is a great way to discover what they are." I'm actually already partway through this challenge for myself as I write this, and I was surprised to find that my sense of what I really liked has not quite lined up with the clothes that I've been keeping.
Kondo elaborates on the mental turmoil that can be caused by being in a mess. She states:
When [we're having trouble throwing] things away, we can't see what we really need now, at this moment. We aren't sure what would satisfy us or what we are looking for. As a result, we increase the number of unnecessary possessions, burying ourselves both physically and mentally in superfluous things. The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don't. (my emphasis)
Finally, I think Kondo is right when she argues:
It's important to understand your ownership pattern because it is an expression of the values that guide your life. The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life. (her emphasis)
I want to be deliberate and only spend my time on the things that truly matter. Which means not storing and searching through shit that doesn't matter, not buying shit that doesn't matter, and not having to spend the time earning the money to pay for shit that doesn't matter.
So why should you do it? Hopefully the above has convinced you. I would also like to quote Tyler Durden: "The things you own end up owning you." If my things are going to own me, why keep crap around?
WHAT WE'LL DO:
You will only keep those things that bring you joy, or that you need (e.g. screwdrivers, and food that you'll eat).
As you go through the sorting process in #1 above, you'll need to take out all of your possessions and handle each one. Although the test seems very abstract, in practice it got pretty easy once I found the first thing that brought me joy. After that experience, it became clear whether I was debating whether I like it or I'll wear it again rather than whether it brought me joy. Kondo says: "The real waste is not discarding clothes you don't like but wearing them even though you are striving to create the ideal space for your ideal lifestyle."
If you're having trouble, try to stop asking yourself "what will I get rid of" and instead ask yourself "what will I keep?". That subtle shift has been very helpful for me as I go through this process. Kondo says: "The moment you start focusing on how to choose what to throw away, you have actually veered significantly off course."
HOW WE'LL DO IT:
The first thing you'll do is visualize your lifestyle when you're done this. What will your space look like? How will you feel in it? How will it make you feel generally? What will be possible for you from this new space? Make some notes.
Tackle in this order: clothes, books, papers, misc., then mementos. Oddly, I think this order is an important part of the process.
Kondo recommends dividing "clothes" into the following subcategories: tops (shirts, sweaters, etc.); bottoms (pants, skirts, etc.); clothes that should be hung (jackets, coats, suits, etc.); socks, underwear; bags (+ purses, etc); accessories (scarves, belts, hats, etc.); clothes for specific events (swimsuits, uniforms, etc); shoes.
"Misc" should be divided into: CDs/DVDs; skin care; makeup; accessories; valuables; electrical equipment and appliances; household equipment; household supplies; kitchen goods/food; other (spare change, figurines, etc.).
When you tackle a category, collect EVERYTHING you own from that category into one spot on the floor or on the bed (take clothes out of the closet and books off the shelves), and handle each item one by one.
After discarding, it's time to put things away. Two rules: store all items of the same type in the same place and don't scatter storage space. Everything should have a home. Kondo recommends folding things a certain way (see illustrations at bottom of this page: https://goop.com/style/decorating-design/the-illustrated-guide-to-the-kondo-mari-method/) and storing them vertically. I think she's right (it's more efficient for storing and searching), but I'm not going to mandate any specific way for you to fold and store.
Finally, PLEASE DONATE anything you discard. Let's send as little to the landfill as possible. If you're like me, you'll feel guilty wasting things. One thing I will point out is that those pants you're not wearing are being wasted in your closet, but they will get used if you donate them.
HOW TO WIN
Frankly, I think you've won if you've made any sort of material progress, but we all like to know the winning conditions, so I'll set the winning conditions as completing two categories (at least clothes and one other of your choice) by September 30th.
TIPS
So far, I have felt guilt, anger and frustration while doing this process. Sometimes at myself, often at other people. Know that these feelings are normal and just process them, don't try to ignore them.
I also think that these feelings can give us insight into ourselves. Kondo points out that people don't like to get rid of things either because of an attachment to the past, a fear of the future, or some combination. By being aware of your feelings, you'll gain some valuable insight into how you think. Insight which should be useful for the rest of your life, not just those things you have.
Don't let this drag on. Tidying is not your life's purpose, so get this over with so you can get on to the good stuff. I know a number of you want to have a tidy place, but the task of doing it all at once seems daunting. Kondo says "tidy a little a day and you’ll be tidying forever". I think she's right. Do you want to be tidying forever?
It's been helpful for me to create 5 piles: (a) for sure yes, (b) probably yes, (c) not sure, (d) probably no, (e) for sure no. As I'm sorting, it's pretty easy to figure out which of the piles each item should go in. When done, I only keep (a) except for those things in (b) that I need.
Don't show others what you're donating unless it's an item you think they would specifically like. We're doing this to rid ourselves of a burden, no need to add to others' burden.
Finally, from a friend who's gone through this: "Don’t worry about what if with the stuff you’re letting go. If there’s any doubt you probably don’t truly need/want it. And the consequences of having messed up a couple things are low ... - well worth it considering the value of the endeavour."
Finally, I've created a Facebook group so that those of you who are on Facebook can go and we can support each other here. Or let me know how it's going in the comments below.