(new segment) Notes from the Heart - what we can control

 

Every morning, I handwrite three pages of journaling (yes, pen and paper). They’re called morning pages, from The Artist's Way. And they have just two rules: 1) keep the pen moving, and 2) fill three pages — even if all you write is “I don’t know what to write.” 📝

Sometimes I write about work, parenting, hopes, or fears. Often I write about logistics (agh!). And sometimes, I stumble into small notes that feel like gifts — exactly what I need in that moment.

I’ve rarely shared them, because they usually feel ahead of me — not wisdom I’ve mastered yet, but wisdom I’m still trying to live.

But maybe some of these notes aren’t just for me.

So today, I’m starting something new:

Notes from the Heart

I've been writing fiction again lately. I hadn't touched it for months — and then last week, during a low point, the dam broke. From Wednesday to Friday, I wrote the first draft of a short story: 6,000 words (for reference, my book The Happy Lawyer is about 62,000).

It felt so satisfying.

And yet, almost immediately, I doubted myself:

  • Why had it taken so long to start?

  • What would I even do with the story?

  • Was it a waste of time when my business needed me?

I realized how much energy I was spending on things outside my control. 🤔

The past? Outside my control.

Whether the story becomes popular? Outside my control.

How fast my business grows? Also outside my control. 🤦‍♂️

Of course I still have influence over the story and my business (not the past — sorry), but there are so many other variables that go into it. They're beyond my control.

I have noticed through years of coaching that when we attach too strongly to outcomes, we risk making our identity brittle. We're more likely to feel anxious and disempowered.

I really only have direct control over two things:

  1. Deciding what the work is.

  2. Doing the work.

That's it.

So:

Where are you clenching onto an outcome — when you would be better served by focusing only on the things in your direct control?

 
 

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Paul KarvanisComment