3 common pitfalls of new years resolutions
Confession: I love new years resolutions. There's something about looking ahead and dreaming big that appeals to me. But, I recognize that this isn't a universal view. 🤔
One of the most common criticisms I hear is that there's nothing special about a new year. Set your goals and implement all year round. If that's you, great. If that's not you, then why not harness some of the natural renewal of energy that comes with a new year.
If you're going to do that (and with the help of wisdom crowdsourced from my community), here are some of the common pitfalls to avoid when setting resolutions:
1. WHY ARE YOU SETTING RESOLUTIONS?
What are you hoping life will be like (and feel like) if you achieve the resolution? Are you running towards something or are you running away from something? Too often we set resolutions out of our wounds, and then every time we make progress towards it, we reinforce the conditional nature of our self love or the fact that we aren't good enough as we are. 😔 Not ideal.
2. WHAT DO YOU AIM FOR?
Two parts to this:
a) Do you set a result goal or a process goal (i.e. do you plan to run a 2hr half-marathon (result goal) or do you plan to go for a run 3x per week (process goal))? Although both types have their merit, my experience with clients and in my own life is that process goals seem to be a better building block of a complete life when we don't have the luxury to go all-in on one specific facet. 💎
b) There's so much wisdom we gain from pursuing our goal that we don't have access to when we set the goal. It's easy to set a goal at the beginning and realize later you've missed the mark. Does your process allow for re-adjustments? Or do you just judge yourself when you're not measuring up to a (non-ideal) standard?
3. HOW DO YOU DO IT?
Are you realistic with your goals and vision? Do you set your goal for work as if that's your only focus? Do you set your fitness goal as if you don't also have a family to take care of? We need to take into account that we won't always be at our best or be able to devote 100% to our goals (because it will happen). As part of recognizing that we have a finite amount of time and energy, I would note that it's often counter-productive to set too many goals - better to ruthlessly prioritize and then let go of everything else.
If you've just set some new years resolutions, or you're in the process of setting your goals for the year, I'd encourage you to re-examine them. Give yourself permission to finesse and right-size them for the life you want to lead.
Good luck! And bonne courage! 😎
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