Healing their relationship with the masculine
"Well, hold on. I don't know that that's right," Matt said, interrupting me in the middle of a sentence. 😒
Matt is one of several people that I've spoken to recently who are in the process of "healing their relationship with the masculine." Those are their words (not mine), but what it usually means is that they've had men in their lives (often family) who were too much. Too oppressive in their way of being, too selfish in their way of doing, too suffocating in their views.
It leaves its mark on these people. Their growth is changed (sometimes stunted), much in the way that a tree will grow sideways if constantly subject to strong winds. 🌲🌲
So Matt interrupted me, and even though I was in the middle of a really important point, I let him continue. For two reasons:
The first (default) reason is that people often aren't ready to listen when they're waiting for their turn to talk. Since I speak to be heard, I will often not continue if I think people are holding onto their ideas for when it's their turn again.
The second (more important) reason is that he's in the middle of healing his relationship with the masculine. That doesn't just mean that I should model a masculine presence that is secure even when being interrupted, but also that I should let him exercise his own assertiveness and right to interrupt - to make himself more an author of the conversation and less just a recipient. To let him step into his "masculine" even in our call together.
HOW the discussion is taking place is often as important as WHAT is being said. And if you let go of the need to be right (or smart, or helpful or ...) and instead think about what might best serve the other person, you'll be able to step into this too.
With much love,
- Paul
PS. Matt may be a man, but I've similar conversations with women. The only reason I used the word "masculine" is because that's what they use. If you don't like the word, try using the word "agency" instead.
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