dealing with "glow in the dark" confidence 👻🌟

A friend recently talked to me about his glow in the dark confidence.

It's different than a flashlight, he said.

Glow in the dark absorbs what the world gives it. Flashlights create their own light.

He was confident insofar as he reflected the success and confidence he felt the world had in him. Writer's block on a factum? Confidence recedes. Miscommunication with a client? Confidence recedes. Lose a case or two? Confidence gone.

He's been the flashlight before and I know he will be again.

Part of me suspects that you don't need to jump straight from glow-in-the-dark confidence to flashlight confidence, that as an interim step you can change your glow-in-the-dark to be powered from within.

Vishen Lakhiani, CEO of Mindvalley, talks about Lofty Questions. A Lofty Question is a question that you plant into your subconscious that your brain then tries to answer. As it tries to answer it, it looks for corroborating evidence. So here you could ask:

Why am I very capable?

Why am I confidence-inspiring?

or

Why am I already a success?

Then your mind looks for evidence of that in the real world. And instead of a tailspin down, you begin a (gradual (or quick)) virtuous cycle up.

And it's not necessarily a bad thing if you feel resistance. It's a sign that the message is imprinting. That is good.

Just be curious, acknowledge it, and move on.

There are, of course, lots of other ways to be building confidence. What do you find has worked for you?

-Paul

PS. In a sign that the world moves in waves, I've been thinking a bit about confidence lately.

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