4 Thoughts on New Years Resolutions
“I should make some resolutions…” my colleague said to me before trailing off into silence.
That’s pretty much an invitation right?
Predictable as ever, I gave him top of mind (resisting my urge to be trendy and advocate for a single “word intention”). Here it is:
1. To Resolution Or Not To Resolution
I’ve heard a number of complaints about New Years Resolutions. After all, what’s so special about Jan 1? Why not June 23? I agree. Why not June 23?
… But did you do anything on June 23?
A lot of people (Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project and Eric Greitens in Resilience come to mind) argue that growth is an important part of a happy, meaningful, resilient life. If you’re already intentional about your growth, great - you can stop reading.
But if you haven’t been intentional about your growth, why wait? You might be exactly the type of person that resolutions work best for.
2. What’s Under Your Resolutions
“Eat healthy.” “Lose weight.” “Exercise more.” I think those might be the three resolutions I hear the most.
But what’s underneath them? Let’s take "lose weight” as an example. Is the end goal just to be thinner? Of course not. Weight is just a number (and didn’t people used to want to be plump?). What people really mean when they say this is:
“I want to feel attractive”
“I want to be confident” or
”I want to feel healthy and in control, not like I do when I run out of breath while climbing up two flights of stairs after my afternoon McDonalds run.”
So dig underneath your resolutions. WHY do you want them?
This is important. These desires are so important to you that your subconscious is twisting your life into knots to try to get them accomplished.
In fact, I’d bet that these desires are essentially running your life.
Once you drag them out in the open, you can evaluate them and decide whether they work for you. Sometimes we chase goals that other people gave to us.
Maybe in 2019 you can chase the things that actually matter to YOU.
3. Run Towards Something
Don’t run away from something, run towards something. For those of you familiar with Simon Sinek’s Start With Why, this is the “why” of your resolution.
Three examples from my life:
Don’t run away from spending too much, run towards saving to buy your freedom.
Don’t run away from being unmotivated, run towards your passion.
Don’t run away from being heavy, run towards being healthy.
I introduced intermittent fasting into my life as a sustainable way to be healthier and feel better. As a result, I ended up losing 20 lbs - weight I’ve wanted gone for a decade. But that wasn’t my goal. Instead my goal was to build a sustainable life where I felt better. That means that my new life isn’t built on deprivation, it’s built on feeling good.
4. Chase the Lead Indicators
In Deep Work, Cal Newport talks about focusing on lead-indicators rather than lag-indicators. A lag-indicator is a measurement that (by the time you’ve measured it) was caused by something in the past. So, an example of a lag-indicator is customer satisfaction. If you know that customer satisfaction is driven by free samples, then your lead-indicator is free samples. By measuring free samples (your lead-indicator) you’ll have a good idea whether you’re moving towards your goal.
So let’s take Josh who wants to lose weight. He wants to lose weight so people will notice him and be attracted to him. As he thinks more, he realizes that he wants to be attractive mostly because then he’ll be confident and self-assured - just as he’s always wanted to be. So Josh’s goal is to be more confident. That’s his lag-indicator. What are his lead-indicators? He realizes that he feels more confident: (1) after working out, (2) when he accomplishes things, and (3) when he’s wearing clothes that fit.
So if he prioritizes his lead-indicators (working out, accomplishing things, and wearing clothes that fit him), he’s going to feel confident.
By now it should be clear that this is a highly personal process. Alice may want to lose weight too. But for her it may be because she wants to be healthy and strong and be able to play with her kids. Her lead-indicators may have more to do with getting enough sleep so she has energy to keep up.
What Will You Do?
You’re all big boys and girls.
You’re free to set no resolutions. You’re free to set just a few resolutions that honour your “why” and push you to grow. You’re also free to chow down on a big mac and watch netflix.
Or be extra trendy and just set a one word intention (for the record, mine is “balance”).
So, what are you thinking?