Unpopular Opinion: Don't Chase Happiness
Halloween 2018. My parental leave was a commitment to my purpose.
A friend asked me recently whether I had any unpopular opinions. Almost without thinking, I barked this out:
Don’t chase happiness. It’s a losing game.
I’ve been stewing on this for most of this year. A lot of my clients are aiming for happiness. Hell, I’ve aimed for happiness.
This year I took a step back and thought about what else I could be doing.
My journey
2018 has, for me, been the year of purpose.
Traditionally, I chased happiness. I did what made me happy. It’s been different things at different stages of my life. In first year university, I watched Japanese animé. In later years, I worked out and drank with friends. When I started working, I played video games and painted models.
And always, it felt like something was missing. Unsustainable. Like I was happy in the moment, but not happy overall. Like it was a house of cards that could easily come tumbling down.
That changed at the end of 2017 when I decided I was going to create the change I wanted to see. I couldn’t just keep chasing financial independence while living only for tomorrow.
I enrolled in coaching courses. And in February, during CTI’s fulfillment course, I got clarity around my purpose:
To dream, play, and conquer, and empower others to do the same.
Since then, I’ve been unrelenting in my pursuit of my purpose. This blog and coaching practice was born out of the “empower” part of that purpose.
It’s been incredibly fulfilling.
I feel more focused. More grounded. More certain.
So where am I now?
My relentless pursuit continued. Near the end of 2018 I noticed myself starting to burn out.
And so lately I’ve made a pointed effort to reintroduce some of the things that make me happy. And you know what? Largely, it’s worked.
If I could use an analogy - I feel like happiness is the house for me to live and purpose is the foundation upon which my life is built.
So: don’t chase happiness. Chase purpose. Then, add happiness to taste.
What Does This Mean For You
Now, let me be clear: this is my opinion. And it’s not even my final opinion yet - it’s still in draft.
That said, there may still be something you can learn from my journey.
Have you chased happiness for a long time? Does part of you wonder what the point is? Maybe try thinking about your impact. Why are you here on this earth? What do you want your legacy to be?
Have you been chasing your purpose? Does part of you wonder how people exist without one? What they’re even doing? And why do others seem so happy and content? What if you could fulfill your purpose and be happy? Are you maybe setting your sights too small?
We’re all on a journey.
Where are your next steps going to take you?