How I Prepared For My Return To Work
On my way to my first day back at work!
Three days ago, on December 3, I returned to work for the first time in six months.
Parental leave had been very worthwhile - and it was now over.
Most of you know by now that I’m a coach by night (not quite as popular as Spiderman). You may be interested to know that I’m a corporate lawyer by day (not quite as handsome as Peter Parker).
I’d like to explain to you what I did to get ready to go back to work.
My perspective
First, I want to tell you about November 9th. I was assisting a coaching course. At the start of the course, there was an exercise to illustrate the past, the future, and the moment in between.
We stepped to the past and thought of a month earlier. On October 9th I had just gotten a good handle on solo parenting during the day. I was also cooking all our food (and well into my first whole30 - article to come). The days were new and fun.
Then we stepped to the future and thought of a month later.
I knew I would be back at work by December 9. I thought of all the things I would have done by then. The work I would have finished, the articles I would have written, the workouts I would have crushed, the painting I would have done. Wait. Pause.
This was impossible. I knew it - yet I still expected it. I was standing in the middle of all of my expectations for the next month and I knew that there was no way I would do even 30% of it. My un-met expectations would be followed with disappointment.
I knew in that moment that focusing on what I would do would be a losing game.
Instead I needed to focus on who I would be.
Who do I want to be?
Ultimately, I want to be the best man, father, and husband that I can be. That man is:
present in each moment (good and bad)
grateful and compassionate
curious and full of life
Look at that list again - there’s nothing to do with accomplishments. So my expectations about the things I would do? Counterproductive.
Now, I certainly want to accomplish things (it is after all, the “conquer” part of my inner purpose), but not at the expense of the things above.
So what did I do to prepare for work? Nothing.
Instead, I tried to be the man I wanted to be.
I tried to ignore my expectations and be the person I wanted to be in each moment. I tried to live each day intentionally.
A while back, I discussed the fact that what you work on, works on you. I knew that if I spent my last few weeks frenetically trying to accomplish things, I would be more frantic and less peaceful - not what I want. Instead, if I worked on being curious, grateful and present, I knew I would be the me I wanted to be.
What does this mean for you?
Are you looking down the barrel of a big life change? Pause and evaluate your expectations for yourself.
Do they align with who you want to be at your core? I think this is an important distinction. I want to be a man who gets things done, so it would have been easy to look at my “to do” list and plow through it. Instead, “getting things done” is more of a surface aspect and less of what is at my core.
And let me ask you - we talk a lot about 2 year, 5 year, and 10 year visions - what’s your one month vision?
Let me know.