My Upper Limit Problem

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A little while ago, I had what started out as a particularly good Thursday.

First, there are two things you need to know about my Thursdays:

  1. I’m not a lawyer on Thursday. I coach (and blog and podcast).

  2. Thursday is the day Megan and I do weekly check-ins.

Now this Thursday, I was crushing it.

I had spoken to a new prospective client and things were going well. I had a real breakthrough coaching call with a different client, I picked up Ro from school and we had all eaten dinner together. Everything was coming up gold.

And just as Megan and I sat down for our check in, she got a phone call, and took it.

It wasn’t that long, maybe 10 minutes.

I started out annoyed. And then I got pissed. 😠😡

And I was sort of pacing around the house, spoiling for a fight. I was ready to start something.

Then she got off the phone and we got into it.

🎆😔

Then, about 15 minutes into this fight, I paused and told Megan about a book I was reading.

I know right? Paul doing Paul things.

But the book is called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.

Hendricks argues that we all have this inner thermostat that is set to the amount of love and success and happiness that we will allow ourselves to feel.

And so, he argues, when we’re below that, we do things to bring us up to that level on the thermostat, and when we’re above that, we do things to bring us down to that level.

So what I was really doing what a symptom of my upper limit problem.

I had a better Thursday than I was used to. And I was picking a fight to bring it back down to the level I was used to. I couldn’t even tell you what the fight was about now.

It’s a form of self-sabotage.

The first step is recognizing that this is what you’re doing. The next step is adjusting your thermostat to where you want it to be.

We discuss this and more on this week’s episode.

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Paul KarvanisComment