Setting precedents as a parent 👶

I've got a really reasonable son. For a 3 year old at least.

He has this uncanny ability though. He can tell when I'm 100% set on a rule, and when I'm not - when I just think it would be a good idea. When I'm set, he usually complies (although it's not always an easy process). 🤷‍♂️

When I'm not set, he knows (somehow).

He pushes, and prods, and asks, and cajoles, and just does it and then waits to see what will happen. In these moments, I find myself asking:

Am I setting a precedent?

🤔

And when he's up super early and I want him to go back to sleep but he won't because he doesn't want to be alone and it's so easy to just take him into the front room and sleep together, I ask myself:

Am I setting a precedent?

🤔😔

It's easier to follow a rule 100% of the time than it is 98% of the time. He can smell that 2% and he turns it into 80. There's this weird balance about being predictable and following the rules you've set, and leaning into your compassion and understanding when it's okay to bend.

I don't have the answer.

But sometimes I realize that he's not giving me a hard time, he's having a hard time.

In those moments, I'm invariably a better father.

---

This was today’s daily email. Like it? Join here: