Difference Between Coaching and Therapy

First, let me be clear that there is actually a lot of overlap between certain schools of coaching and therapy. This is one of the biggest complications in the therapy v. coaching debate - what school of coaching and what school of therapy are we talking about? 

The most common explanation of the difference relies on future focus v. past focus, time limited v. open ended, and homework v. no deliverables. This common explanation shows up in this article by Tony Robbins, the guru of gurus, and this article by CoActive's very own Michael Bornhorst (both a coach and a therapist).

Although I would take Robbins' article with some salt (he has a venn diagram that shows that therapists do not engage in active listening - which, as a sweeping truth, seems ridiculous), he articulates well some of the common understandings. In particular, that "therapy focuses on the past and on introspection and analysis" and "The process of life coaching takes the client’s current starting point as an acceptable neutral ground and is more action-based from that point onward."  

I have a lot of respect for Bornhorst. He raises many of the same distinctions. As he is both a coach and a therapist, I imagine that those distinctions must be true in his practices. I would like to highlight one of the differences that he describes - that of therapists being more "sensitive". Therapists have certainly been more patient in hearing out my "story" and sensitive in their questioning of me, whereas coaches have challenged me more abruptly when they felt that exploring the story (yet again) would not serve me. Sometimes insensitive questions can be so much more effective (although presumably therapists will rely on these as well). 

For a different perspective, Michael Bader on Psychology Today says that the common cited differences are "actually false distinctions that don't make a difference." He goes on to list the foundational elements of a coaching practice and say that those are found in his therapy practice. I will note that Bader himself seems to blame certain members of his profession (including saying that their theories "privilege understanding over symptom relief and behavioral change") as originally creating this confusion between coaching and therapy, and so I can only presume that there will be therapists who don't operate as Bader does. 

So who's right? They all are, and the extent to which they are right will depend on the school of coaching and the school of therapy being compared. 

Personally, I am of the view that good professional help can only help. If you want the life that a coach is promising, hire a coach. If you're dealing with trauma or a mental illness, you should probably see a therapist. There's no need for them to be mutually exclusive - it's not uncommon people to receive both therapy and coaching.

I would also recommend focusing on the connection you have with your coach/therapist. This is an art as well as a science, and it's easy to underestimate the importance of a personal connection.

Bader put it best when he said: "[The] difference [between coaching and therapy] seems inconsequential to me. What matters is that people get help in their efforts to grow, master their problems, and become more effective in their lives."

I think we can all agree with that.