Being and Doing
I witnessed an “aha” moment a few days ago.
I was on the phone with one of my clients and she admitted that she hadn’t done any of the homework. It used to be valuable. Now it was a chore.
She’s a busy person with a full plate, and the homework had turned into yet another thing to do.
Now this client is a do-er. Most of us are. We do, and do, and do. And we rarely stop to be.
Something inside of her was crying out to stop doing and to just be. The homework (another thing to do) wasn’t the answer. Instead the answer was less. Less obligations. Less running around. Less doing.
And yet it wasn’t easy. For her (and I would argue, for most of us who are do-ers), not doing is one of the hardest things we can do. “Doing” is often built into our vision of who we are. And so not “doing” can undermine our identity. As it was for my client - she felt guilt over not having done the homework.
The ah-ha moment came when she realized that NOT doing her homework was a sign of an inner shift underway. “Doing” was no longer serving her as much as “being” would.
The client wouldn’t have realized this had she done the homework. Instead, it was “failing” herself that set her up for this key learning.
The journey she expected to be on wasn’t the one she needed to walk.
What Does This Mean For You
Your journey will change. What is important to you now won’t always be important to you. You need to pay attention and re-calibrate your expectations for yourself and your life as things change.
This has been especially pronounced in my life as I became a father and again as I started my coaching venture and blog.
You have expectations for your journey. We all do. And yet you should keep your eyes open so that your expectations don’t blind you to the journey you actually need to walk.
Just FYI, I had my client approve this post even though it’s anonymized. Confidentiality is always respected here.