Unpopular advice - you're part of the problem
A few days ago, I got this download while journaling. It felt somewhat universal, and so I want to share it with you:
Dear Paul, it's your desire to avoid negative emotions that causes them to persist. You're part of the problem. When you react to your difficult emotions by avoiding them, lashing out, or numbing, you teach yourself that they're dangerous. Hell, by calling them negative emotions in the first place (instead of just unpleasant ones), you teach yourself that they're dangerous. And then the more dangerous they are, the more you try to avoid, distract, or numb when they come again. It becomes a feedback loop.
NEWS FLASH: They're not negative. Just unpleasant. Stop creating the problem.
When I was a kid I hated dark chocolate. Too bitter. Gimme the sweet stuff, please. Now that I'm grown I've come to really enjoy the bitterness. I'd rather eat 80% dark chocolate than 60% dark chocolate. And I'll usually just walk past milk chocolate.
We can learn to appreciate (if not enjoy) all of our feelings. Just because they hurt doesn't mean anything's wrong.
So the next time you feel an unpleasant emotion, do you best to acknowledge it and, if you can, thank it for being there. You're only getting it because you signed up for this thing called life. It's part of the price of admission, and not a bad thing at all. Just unpleasant. And you (like me) can handle unpleasant things.
Peace.
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