the "pint of B&Js" or pick-a-fight-with-your-spouse type of day 🙄
The shallow layer was that I was feeling antsy and every few minutes I had to fight the urge to raid my fridge. 🤤🍪🍧 The deeper layer was that I was wondering if I was doing enough. Actually, that's not true. I had decided I wasn't doing enough, and I was telling myself that unless I got my act together, I was going to flame out and be a failure. 😔
This was just yesterday morning.
I've lived enough of those days to know how they go. If left unchecked, they end up with me stuffing my face before dinner starts, losing my temper with my son, and wondering if I'm ready to quit food forever. 🍕🍕🍕 Your version of these days may go different - maybe you end up on the couch with netflix and a pint of B&Js, or maybe you end up (subconsciously) picking a fight with your spouse just so you can focus on something important (and immediate).
I was determined that this day would go different. And so I asked myself: "what message do I really need to hear right now?" And the answer came immediately:
"yo, chill." 🧊❄
We make these assessments of the future by extrapolating data. My brain seems to have a 3 day memory limit, so if I haven't solved a massive crisis by Monday lunch I'm normally convinced I'll never accomplish anything again.
What's the key to pulling out of these tailspins? For me, yesterday, the key was to chill out. 🧊🧊🧊 To remember it's all going well. That I'm already a success, and that grasping never actually worked. I often like to give myself permission to get nothing done. And truly believe it.
When I'm okay with getting nothing done, I usually get something done (such as me writing this for you). But this isn't meant to game the system - I'm okay even if I get nothing done.
Pema Chodron talks about the approach of maitri (loving kindness). You see what's going on, you don't judge it, and instead you just love on yourself.
I'm going hard on myself? okay. Time to chill out and be cool. ❄🧊❄
What message do you find pulls you up out of a tailspin?
Paul
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