What's the One Thing You Want Most For Your Kids?

What’s the one thing YOU want most for your kids? Take a second to think about it if you need to, but do land on an answer.

We’ll get to my answer in a second. First, let me set the stage: I’m at a coffee event with other entrepreneurs and although I had been talking to these people virtually for a year and a half, and this was the first time I was meeting any of them in person.

I was asked to talk about my dream. Well, I dream of a world where we can be ourselves, be happy, and where we don’t get in our own way. I’ve often thought “Paul, you have all the ingredients to be happy. Why aren’t you happy?”

Afterward, my mentor turns to me and asks “Paul, what do you want most for your kids?”

Without hesitating, I said, “I want them to be happy.” Easy. Of course every parent wants their kids to be happy.

And he said that happiness is just one portion of the normal range of human emotions that we experience in our lives. Am I wishing for them to not have a full experience of being human?

And what about those moments when they do inevitably feel unhappy. Does that mean they’re failing themselves, or failing me?

Or that I failed them as a parent?

No. No, chasing happy isn’t the right goal.

Upon reflection, the thing I want the most for my kids is to love themselves unconditionally.

So how do I help them do that?

Brené Brown says, “You can’t give someone else something you don’t have.”

I remember the first time I heard this. I thought “look I respect Brené and all, but this can’t be right. I may not be able to give myself unconditional love, but I can certainly give it to my kids.”

But I’ve found that that’s not actually true. Turns out that my conditions get imposed on them too. Those conditions are especially imposed when we’re talking about how I show my love, which when you think about it is what really matters - since that’s the way my kids experience it.

Well, I guess then if I want them to love themselves unconditionally, I need to love myself unconditionally first.

So how does one do that? I’m not totally sure, but I’ve got some theories.

Join us this week as we discuss this and more.

Don’t like listening in-browser? Hit up Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher. NOTE: If you’re checking this out before Thursday, the episode likely won’t be up there yet!

And please leave us a 5-star (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐) review where ever you listen to podcasts (unless you’re listening in-browser as we don’t have a rating system on the site 🤷‍♂️).