1 Way To Bypass The Saboteurs In Your Head

“You ask great, powerful questions,” she said. “And you’re clearly listening deeply.” It was late 2018 and we had just listened to one of my real coaching calls with one of my real clients.

“… but?” I said.

It felt like there was a but. Her tone said it (there was my powerful listening at work 😂😅).

“But, I’m pretty sure you’ve just been coaching his saboteur for 20 minutes.”

God, it was embarrassing.

You see, we all have these voices in our head that tell us we can’t do things. That spout limiting belief after limiting belief. That get us to play small. Those voices are there to keep us safe. They are often created early in life to allow us to adapt to situations and stay safe. We call them saboteurs because what worked for us in elementary school or in our family as a child often doesn’t serve us as adults.

Especially not adults that are trying to grow and expand in our lives and step in our unique genius - what makes us, us.

So I had been coaching his saboteur - which essentially meant that I was entrenching his narrative. I was getting sucked into what was making him play small instead of helping him grow. Instead of pulling him out of his narrative and into what was available for him. Instead of helping him dream big and live bigger.

As embarrassing as it was, I wouldn’t take it back. I learned something really valuable that day. Something that’s stood me in good stead on many coaching calls, with many friends, and with myself ever since.

Join me as I talk about it.

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