Haven't Discovered "Your Passion"? Just Give Up.
I’ve noticed a trend recently. A lot of people aren’t sure what they’re “supposed to be doing”.
These are people who’ve been told (and who believe) that if they find the thing that they’re passionate about doing, they’ll never work another day in their life.
And yet, they don’t know what it is they’re passionate about doing. They just know it’s not their current job.
I hear things like:
“Life was meant to be more than this.”
“Maybe I should have been X” or “I wish I’d studied X in school.”
“Well, it’s too late now. I need to support the family.”
“It’s hard to build momentum when I don’t know what direction I need to be moving in.”
“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”
Hell, I’ve said some of that myself.
This uncertainty can manifest in a number of ways - disconnection, self-doubt/blame, worry, low confidence, fear, anxiety, self-loathing.
Hell, I’ve experienced some of that myself.
Are We Thinking About The Right Issue?
Most of us focus on finding the thing that we’re passionate about. Instead, what if we focused on building passion around something we are, or will be, good at?
Does this feel like a cop out? As Steve Jobs said in that famous commencement speech, “keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle…”
Does this feel like settling?
On the one hand, it sort of does. We’ve been promised a dream and here we are abandoning it.
On the other hand, it feels like the opposite. Instead of chasing a dream someone’s promised you, you’ve built a new passion for yourself. Who’s to say that’s not better?
Even better, as you’ve built the passion, you’ve probably also built the skills needed to succeed at that passion.
Maybe It’s Time To Give Up
Just to be clear, I’m not suggesting you give up entirely. Just that you give up trying to find your passion.
Cal Newport (in So Good They Can’t Ignore You) calls this “passion hypothesis” - i.e. we all have a pre-existing passion and, if we find the job that matches it, we’ll be self-actualized and love our work.
Newport goes further:
The passion hypothesis is not just wrong, it’s also dangerous. Telling someone to ‘follow' their passion’ is not just an act of innocent optimism, but potentially the foundation for a career riddled with confusion and angst.’ (his emphasis)
Which isn’t to say it never works (I bet most pro-athletes have been passionate about their sport since forever). But just cause it works sometimes, doesn’t mean it will work most times - or for you.
But because we believe it works, and it hasn’t worked for us, instead of delivering us to the promised land where we love our jobs, it delivers us anxiety and self-doubt.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. - Albert Einstein (?)
We do the same thing, hoping it will yield different results. We try a new job. And a new one after that. Hoping to find that pre-existing passion we always knew we had, but never knew what it was.
Hopping jobs can be really useful for happiness, but it may not solve your problems.
Maybe this passion is not something you can find. Maybe it doesn’t exist. Maybe it needs to be built.
And what about Steve Jobs and his passion? Newport describes how Jobs ended up starting Apple. Jobs wasn’t a visionary on a linear path to success. He was a long haired hippy who walked around campus barefoot and he began making computers because he found a way to make money at it.
Right before we talk about how to build this passion, I want to take a minor detour to talk about what I’ve learned on my own journey.
A Few Cardinal Truths
It was in my own journey to find answers that I came to realize a few things:
Direction matters. I need to feel like I have a goal, and am pointing in the right direction.
Movement matters. I need to feel as if I’m moving in the right direction.
You are your values (if you’re honouring them). One of the hallmarks of a good life (for me) is that I’m strongly honouring my core values. Interestingly, as much as I’ve changed over the years, they haven’t.
The journey matters. Our lives are a series of journeys, where we occasionally accomplish a few things and reach the end of a journey. We spend about 99.99999% of our time in the journey instead of at the destination, so how you go about your journey may be the most determining factor of how you life your life.
If you’re anything like me, these truths are going to be critical as you build your passion. You’ll see how the steps below follow the path set out by these truths.
So How Do We Build Our Passion?
Here is how I suggest you start:
Pick a direction. Do your best to pick the right direction, but ultimately pick one. You can always revisit later, and running in circles doesn’t serve anyone (except for toddlers and dogs). Oh, and make sure your direction involves getting good at something.
Get moving. What’s one step, however small, that you can take today in your chosen direction?
Honour your values. Figure out what your values are (talking to a coach helps 😉), and then figure out how to honour them in your life.
Be present. Don’t hurtle through the days on autopilot chasing the next achievement. You might look up and realize you’ve got a great resume, and a hole where your life should be.
So how do you pick your direction?
In my journey, there were a few questions that were more important than others. Questions that moved the needle. I’ve curated those questions into a set of emails.
They’re free. Of course you’ll still need to actually think about your answers if the questions are going to be at all useful to you.
And I’d love to hear how they’ve landed with you.