the deeper cure for stuckness
I still think that the simplest cure for stuckness is the one I wrote about in The Happy Lawyer:
There’s a very simple solution to being stuck. That is: get unstuck.
No, seriously. It’s that simple.
Being stuck is not moving. The opposite of not moving? It’s movement. In other words—take action.
But I've come to see that there's a deeper cure. Recently, I was thinking about a lawyer I know who's dissatisfied with their work allocation - it wasn't what was promised. They resented it, and resented themselves for not speaking up about it. They felt stuck.
The simple solution is to take action (e.g. say something, or ask for new work). However, I think it's possible to feel unstuck WITHOUT taking action. How?
You CLAIM your CHOICE.
This lawyer has chosen to not speak up about this. This lawyer has chosen to say yes to all the new files, even if they're not the desired subject matter. And I'm not saying that's wrong - there's likely very good reasons to have chosen that. What I am saying, is that this was a choice. So although they feel stuck, they can look at it from a different perspective:
They've never been stuck because they made all the choices to get here.
And when they're ready (and it doesn't need to be now), they can start making choices to get out of here.
So stuckness is more an internal state than an external state. They may feel stuck, but they are not stuck and have never been stuck. And as soon as they realize that, and claim their choices, the sooner they'll stop feeling stuck.
What do you think? Am I splitting hairs?
Is this a solution in theory but not in practice? My gut tells me it's an advanced solution, and that we should focus on the simple solution until we're ready to handle it, but I'm not sure. What do you think?
- Paul
PS. Importantly, "claiming" isn't just taking responsibility, it's taking responsibility without negative judgment. If you take responsibility for your choices but judge yourself for it, you might find it's counter productive.
This was today’s email. Like it? Join here: